This rant will solely discuss the downfalls of comparing yourself to other people. First and foremost, I need to explain: We compare – it’s human nature. Without comparing ourselves to the people around us, we would never develop further as human beings. We would just simply not be, as we live off of the validation and acceptance of the group we belong to. There is no need to dispute this or try to justify the faults with it.
Rather, what I’m talking about is comparison we make with other people in order to “fit in”
We have all experienced it. We compare how we look to someone else, how smart we are, how many friends we have on Facebook, how successful someone is, how famous they are etc.
We admire and wish to be like someone else. Maybe even fantasize what our lives would look like if we could just be like that someone else. How would your life look then? Would you be better? Stronger? More popular? Brighter?
What you have ultimately done is thrown away all your personal qualities in the face of jealously. And jealously is an ugly thing.
All rationality has flown out the window. Think of it as trying to fit your foot in a shoe that is 5 sizes too small. It won’t work, no matter how hard we try. The harder we try to squeeze our foot into the shoe, the more it’s going to hurt. We could try to walk with the foot half in, but it will eventually fall off, or you’ll get so tired of it not fitting you will throw the shoe away all together.
And the same thing goes when you imagine how your life would be like if you were like someone else. You try to fit your own personality into something that is either bigger or smaller than yourself. It won’t fit, no matter how hard you try. The person you’re jealous of has a completely different history, framework and integrity. Finding a match to your own is virtually impossible.
Do you see how futile it is to compare yourself to someone else, now?
And remember that the people you compare yourself to do the same thing to someone else. Insecurity has many faces. Some show, some don’t. It’s perfectly okay to be insecure, as long as it doesn’t change who you are in the process. Insecurity is an incredible opportunity to develop yourself. Getting to know your limits better. Growing aware of the world around you.
What people say and think of you shouldn’t be important, even though it contradicts the theory of comparison within a group. Fit into your own mould, and the problem is solved. Because we can’t rely on ourselves if we decide to just be a pawn on the chess table.
Give yourself a break and look to what you have – not what you’re lacking.
That’s courage and determination in its most perfect form.
If there is one life lesson to learn, it’s to not give a f*** about what people have to say about you. You will never be them and they will never be you.
“We only have one life. We don’t get to do it all over again, and try it in different ways. And my biggest fear is to wake up one day and realize that I wasted so much time on trying to be someone that I’m not. Because that time is gone. And I have nothing to show for it”
En liten personlig notering: Jag har oerhört svårt att vara framför kameran. Tycker det är jobbigt, och undviker det. Men har förmånen att känna två kloka personer nära mig varav Fredric är den ena…Den andra är Mimmi Storm, som så klokt sade till mig förra veckan: ”Det är såhär jag ser, och det är inte ett dugg jag kan göra åt det!” Precis så är det ju….!
Tycker oerhört mycket om denna text av Fredric!